I have been asked how I went about returning to the workforce after an extended delay as a stay at home dad. Things are a little different for me in that department as I have nearly always worked for myself in some capacity while supplementing my income with part time work.
I am much more likely to have three part time jobs instead of one full time position and as
such career progression is fortunately not one of my aims. Gaps in my resume are not an issue for the kind of work that I am currently pursuing.
If you are looking to get back to the corporate world to continue on your career path then I
believe that the stay at home dad role should be proudly displayed on your resume including a long list of achievements and acquired skills just as you would with any other job.
It is not as if you have been unemployed, on the contrary you have probably worked your ass off.
There are so many key responsibilities and new skills acquired in the fulfillment of the stay
at home dad role that it would not be difficult to fill a few lines of a resume. I know that
personally I have learnt heaps about time management, patience and psychology.
If I was to include my stay at home dad role on a resume it would probably look something like this:
STAY AT HOME DAD
July 2011 – Present
Responsibilities /Achievements
- Primary child care duties.
- Design and implementation of household operational procedures.
- Supervising, training and managing children and their needs.
- Complaint resolution,
- Household bookkeeping and finance management
Additionally you may have had to learn to meal plan and cook, to do cleaning and washing
duties or a myriad of other assorted essential household and child rearing skills.
While these skills may not necessarily be related or transferable to the employment that you are seeking, they show an ability to be adaptable and to learn new skills while under
pressure. Much sort after qualities in the corporate world.
I wrote a post a while ago in the attempt to define the stay at home dad role and that may
help you with some more ideas for things that you could include in your resume.
For what it is worth I think that the stay at home dad role is probably one of the more
challenging roles that one can perform. Not so much because of the nature of the work (domestic duties and child care) but more so due to the emotional side of raising children as well as the social expectations that come with the stay at home role.
These emotional experiences can be quite unusual and daunting for a man.
Kids have a way to make you feel guilty and second guess yourself and that is probably what I have found to be the most emotionally draining part of the child care part of the job. Any pressure that you come under in the corporate world will be a piece of cake compared to the boot camp that you have just been through.
If you have been stay at home dad for a while and you enjoyed the experience then you should spruke the benefits of this to all men so that they can have the opportunity to care for their kids and develop that special bond that comes with being the stay at home parent.
It can also be a great idea to take a bit of the child care pressure of your spouse as well.
Why should the women always have to sacrifice their careers just so they can look after their own children? Can’t men start to take their fathering responsibilities more seriously and help share that beautiful burden?
If more men were encouraged to take time out of their careers and share the child raising and household duties it might leave women with some more time to run the Fortune 500 companies that are currently so devoid of their presence.
Isn’t true gender equality where everyone has the opportunity to do everything? Both women and men? Anyhow I digress…
So Stay at Home dads, good luck in your quest if you are looking to get back to work. Your new skills and the confidence that goes with that will serve you well in a strange new adult world where hardly anyone will tell you that they have just done a poo…
Thanks for this post.. It certainly puts things in perspective. I agree that the time I have spend as a SAHD has been more challenging than any “real” work I’ve ever done… and yes, I’ve learned a number of skills… alas I don’t feel that recruiters and companies necessarily have such a progressive view.. I’ve encountered a bit of “you’re only as good as your most recent paid job”, and that a candidate who has been out of the workforce looking after kids is not viewed as favourably as someone already in the system. Hate to say it but it’s these attitudes that are going to cut short my time at home. I feel so conflicted about “abandoning” my boys – but I feel that in the long run, it will be the best for all.
Hey Brian,
I’m not sure what line of work you are in but in my experience it’s all about confidently putting a positive spin on all your skills. Are you a dishwasher or a underwater ceramics technician? My wife experienced the same kind of negative attitudes (as do a lot of women) when returning to the corporate world after a ‘family’ break. Recruiters can be particularly negative but maybe they are just beating you down to lower your expectations and thus improve their chances?
We found the best way to combat this was to be selective with the recruiters she worked with. There are so many out there that you can work with a couple who you think are actively going to help you. Don’t forget that YOU are the commodity that they are selling. It is also a great way to get back a little power when you tell the other recruiters (the shitty ones) that they have been unsuccessful in their attempt to procure your candidature!! lol
Oh and I wouldn’t worry about your boys. Their father has taken the time and helped to give them a great start in life.
Thanks for this post.
I can relate a little….
I am self employed and a SAHD.
My wife and I have had many discussion about what to slow down my work so that I can be a stay at home dad.
I like what you said about more companies being led by women.
And, I completely agree that you are your best commodity! You are really selling you. (I used to be a recruiter and I worked harder for people with confidence in themselves. Remember that you have to get hired for the recruiter to get paid. They’ll get you the interview and you have to hit a home run.)
This is my first visit to your blog but I’ll be back.
Matthew
I found this article to be exactly what I needed to read. As it stands now, I will be attempting to return to the workforce after 5 years of being a SAHD. Your article gave me some very good information about how to approach my resume while including the most recent job experience of being at home. Thanks!
Judd
Thank you, James. It’s time employers take seriously what people learn as they perform child rearing duties. Been out of the job market for 1 year and, coupled w/ my lack of sustained job experience doing ONE thing in ONE market, I’m pretty screwed. I’ve already had 2 recruiters outright ignore me. But based on what you said, I should be glad for that, as I need recruiters who really care about their job enough to help me. It’s been frustrating getting back into the job market, but I hope one day I can get a job I deserve.
And I like the spin you put on child rearing. For a year I had, on my linkedin profile, a statement something like, “…and more than any CEO has ever done.” I’ve since took that off. But I truly believe that being a stay-at-home parent is a lot more work than most know. And you’re right that the biggest learning curve for us is the emotional one. There’s a lot more stress and pressure from being a SAHD than I’ve ever experienced in the real world. Multi-tasking is no longer my weakness – it is my strength. I’ve learned how to take everything into my brain and prioritize, all in a split second.
Thank you for your erudite post!